Good Reasons to Date a Fat Girl

It isn’t all gloom and doom for chubby chasers! There are plenty of great reasons to date a fat girl! Let’s discuss a few of them (please keep in mind, these are generalizations. Not all fatties adhere to these rules. Not only that, there are many, many thin girls who also fit into these categories).

  1. More likely to eat ‘man food’; barbecue, nachos, french fries, various deep fried things.
  2. More open minded sexual; seriously, go to a fetish bar. Fatties galore.
  3. Fat girls really do give better head….
  4. Boobies!
  5. Ass!
  6. Softness! I have been told that sex with me is like upgrading to a pillowtop mattress from a cot. I assume this is a good thing.
  7. Personality/demeanor; while the fat bitch stereotype is alive and well, the majority of fat girls are smart, and friendly. Regardless of what any fat girl may tell you, high school is not a fun time. We had a lot of time for learning, and are generally more receptive to kindess.
  8. Funny (See: Meeting a funny fat girl, two posts down).
  9. Resourceful; Clothing companies don’t cater to us, and as such, most fat girls have become MacGyver when it comes to navigating thrift stores.
  10. As horrible as this one is, in a lot of cases it’s true; less likely to leave you for someone else.

Meeting a Fat Girl- The Internet

Chances are, if you’ve ever met/talked to a girl on the internet, you’ve met/talked to a fat girl on the internet. Whether it was a pretty girl with no full body pics (we fucking KNOW our myspace angles. Trust this.), or a ridiculously hot, perfectly toned blond bombshell, chances are usually pretty good that they were a fattie. It’s the easiest place to find/approach us, but there are still a few things you should know.

Spotting a Fat Girl

1. The Myspace Angle- Also known as “The Blow Job Vantage Point,” the Myspace Angle is a staple in the fat girl picture repertoire. Taken from above, head tilted, chin down, lips lightly puckered, eyes looking up into the camera. All you see is tits and face. Personally, I have no issues with using the Myspace Angle on things like my facebook profile, where everyone on my list knows what I look like to begin with. I think it’s skeevy to use it on dating sites though. Unfortunately, many a fat girl disagrees with me. If a girl’s profile consists of one Myspace Angle, followed by a bunch of full body pictures- you are not dealing with a fat girl. If it’s 12 Myspace Angles and a picture of a cat, you’re good to go.

2. The Hot Blond Bombshell- When you see this girl on dating sites, she is one of two things; a fat girl using a fake picture, or the real girl and apeshit fucking insane. Those are the only two options, trust me on this. Regardless of which one it is, it’s not someone you want to meet. Lingerie models don’t look for love on the internet unless they are seriously damaged, and the fat girl is lying about her picture, so how stable can she really be?

3. Body Type- Most dating sites have a body type option. Here’s is a breakdown of what the different selections mean.

  • Slim/Slender- Can be anywhere from a size 0 to a size 10. While size 10 sounds more average than slender, they choose slender because average has already been claimed.
  • Average- Size 14-18 (occasionally 10-20). While technically these girls should be in the “Few Extra” category, they either have lost weight, plan to lose weight, or don’t want to be associated with the girls in the “few extra category.” Not to mention, a lot of guys set their filters to block out girl who don’t label themselves as Slim/Average/Athletic.
  • Athletic- This is the category where you’ll really see the most diversity. Girls labelling themselves as athletic can fall anywhere on the spectrum from Kelly Ripa to Kate Winslet to Serena Williams. Many girls who belong in the average category, and think they would be misleading men if they were to claim to be Slim/Slender, label themselves as being athletic.
  • Curvy- Fat girl. While traditionally the word curvy would imply a Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson type of physique, fat girls have claimed it as their own. It is too late to take it back now.
  • A Few Extra- Fat girl. Usually bigger than curvy, but completely unwilling to move themselves into the “More to Love” category.
  • More to Love- if you’re looking for fat girls, these are generally your best bet. They’re self aware enough to not get mad if you offer them a brownie, they won’t put off meeting you out of fear of you finding out their real size, and I would venture a guess that they’re more honest in general. Not only that, but they know the majority of guys aren’t looking for fat girls, so for them to label themselves as such means that they’re confident that their personality is enough. That’s a very good sign.

Approaching a Fat Girl

Use common sense. Don’t ask her to go on cam in your first message. Don’t ask for tit pictures. Don’t talk about how you’ve never done a fat girl. Be nice! Be polite. Be interested in getting to know her as a person. Also, all of these tips can be applied to skinny girls.

Meeting a Fat Girl

Meeting a fat girl somewhere other than the internet (which will be covered in a future post), can be difficult. You think it’s hard trying to pick up the Playboy bunny at a bar? Your chances of getting that girl’s number are a gajillion times higher than having a fat girl give you hers. Why? Because of high school. A lot of fat girls have it ingrained in their mind that a guy asking for their number is probably planning on doing something mean with it.

When approaching a fat girl, the standard pickup lines will result in you being turned down immediately. And probably laughed at. You have to actually make an effort, and prove that you’re not an assbag. I’m not kidding, it’s a lot harder than you think.

Contrary to popular belief, fat girls do hang out places other than McDonalds. Where you meet your fatty really depends on which type of fatty you’re hoping to attract. Here’s a list of places to meet us, as well as some tips on approaching us in different situations.

  • Fit fatty? Oddly enough, a great place to meet fat girls is at the gym…well, women’s gyms anyways. Unless you’re a girl looking to date a fat girl, your best bet is probably a coffee shop near a women’s gym (just hanging out in the parking lot outside and trying to talk to girls is generally discouraged). Your best approach is to comment on her gym bag/shoes. Never comment on her body. Ever.
  • Smart fatty? Where else but a used book store! Compliment her choice or ask her if she’s read the book you’re holding.  If she has, ask for her opinion on it.
  • Confident fatty? Burlesque show!!! Seriously, they’re filled with us. Compliment her act/song choice/accessories, but just because she stripped down to her pasties moments earlier, do not compliment her on her tits. Although occasionally it goes over incredibly well, it’s a major risk.
  • Film fatty? Art house theaters. Make sure you go alone, it makes it seem like you’re all about the movie. Never approach pre-film, because as soon as the movie starts, you’re cut off. Approaching afterwards is fine, and researching the film ahead of time is always a good move. Surprise her with a little known fact! In art house theater situations, you always need to bring your A game, because there is a very good chance she is with her main gay. They will discuss you once you’re out of earshot.
  • Musical fatty? Record store. No one shops for cds anymore, and concerts are too loud and crowded. Another option is music festivals, but only in the drink area or merch tables. Obviously you just talk about the record they’re holding/band that just played. Feel free to use the same approach as with the smart fatty.
  • Funny fatty? Comedy show. There’s a pretty wide held belief that the only female comedians capable of being funny funny are the fat ones (See: Deborah DiGiovanni, Lisa Lampanelli). There also plenty of fatties in comedy show audiences, particularly for gay comedians. It’s best to approach with a joke. If you’re confident that she’s funnier than you, approach with the absolute worst joke you know. It will be so bad that she’ll laugh and you’ll have an opening. Please note: Improv shows are not an effective funny fatty meeting place. There will be plenty of fatties in attendance, but none of them will be funny.
  • Green fatty? Vegetarian cooking class. Ask her to taste your dish to see if you did it right. Once she does, she will either tell you that you did and be impressed by your cooking, or tell you that you didn’t and try to help you fix it, which will get you more face time.  Another good place is a farmers market, where your best approach is to ask her if she knows any recipes for cooking the produce you’re both looking at.
  • Happy fatty? Cupcake shop! I’m not sure why, but if given the choice of a regular cake or cupcake, cupcake wins every time. It might be the cake to icing ratio, or the retro appeal, or the fact that you can eat them on a bicycle, but fat girls go apeshit for cupcakes. Your best bet is to ask her for a flavour suggestion, then buy her one as a thank you. It’s like a drink at a bar, only delicious.

Obviously there are many other genres of fatties not covered here, but this is a good primer for boys taking their first trip to Chubtown.

Fat Chicks Need Love Too

With obesity rates on the rise, whether you want to or not, you will inevitably date one of us. Sorry guys.

Don’t worry! Not all is lost! There are plenty of benefits to dating a fat girl!

Realistically though, there are also draw backs.

This blog is going to cover all of the above. My goal is to make the fat girl dating process as painless as possible…unless you’re into that sort of thing (but I will cover that too!). I’m going to be as open and honest as possible, and there is a very,  very good possibility that other fats girls aren’t going to like everything I cover. Oh well, you can’t make an omlette without cracking a few eggs (and there is obligatory food joke).